Self drawn boundaries

Read a great story about boundaries that we draw for ourselves and continue to live in it just because we are accustomed to living inside. It isn't something new, but the story resonated with me because I believe today I cracked one such boundary in my life. A boundary that when extended gives me enough space to express my values and beliefs. I should have re-drawn this eons ago, but I guess my focus was else where. Better late than never they say, but I am so glad I did!

I hope I've made it clear and vague enough at the same time. That was intentional! Anyway, here is the story...

Once upon a time, a fierce forest tiger caused a village to live in terror. It ate livestock at will, and even killed several children and adults. The villagers hired a hunter, and trapped the tiger. Respecting life, they built a stout bamboo cage for him in the center of the village. 

      For many years, the tiger slept, and paced endlessly around the cage. The grandchildren of the original villagers finally said - our tiger is old and toothless. We should let him return to his forest to die in peace. They dismantled the cage, and all gathered to see their old friend set free.

      The tiger was bewildered. He looked around at the strange bar-less scene, and at the nearby forest. Then he resumed pacing his measured square, walking the boundaries of the cage that was no longer there. 

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First things first, I missed you my dear blog. Wish I had kept in constant touch! Never mind, lets restart, it is never too late to reconnect is it?

I wrote emails to about 4-5 people today. I'm definitely not the kind of person who is people-averse or friends-averse. But some how, I don't seem to write emails often and don't seem to connect often. Today, I decided it was high time I addressed it and wrote to people I think about pretty often. Good job, I like it!

Moving on, I'm not very active on FB these days. Bored of commenting, liking and following status updates of people. I do login once in a while, but don't use it much to keep in touch. I created an account on twitter, re-activated it rather after about 5-6 years.Wondering if I should be more active on twitter instead. 140 words to express my thoughts and keep contact with the outer world? Not sure, don't want it to become another site where contact is more obligation than genuine talk. So, question of the day... to tweet or not to tweet?

Answer: No, for now, just go get some sleep :)

TQM story...

Read a funny story related to TQM today. I don't about you, but I burst out laughing when I read such things. Don't know if it's a fact or a myth, it's a good one either way.

A company once ordered a batch of components from a Japanese manufacturer and specified that the batch should have an acceptable quality level of three defective parts per thousand. The parts were dispatched by the Japanese company along with a letter. The letter said something like this...

We found it extremely hard to believe that the customer would request for defective parts as well as good ones, but indeed we have managed to produce them all. These three defective parts have been manufactured and packaged separately for the convenience of the customer!

Gratitude...

 I'll start with a small story. I met an old friend from London recently. He had just completed his first full time corporate job and he was telling me all about the great experiences in his job.  He spoke in length about the good relationship he shared with his colleagues and his managers. The conversations and the work stories he shared sounded too pleasant to be true and the cynic in me dismissed it as that’s how you feel in your first job!

I probed him further and he told me about a ritual he followed every day. On his way to work, Rohit would always think about his firm. He would thank the firm for giving him this wonderful opportunity; thank his managers for sharing their knowledge and for patiently dealing with the novice in Rohit. I was impressed!

Coincidentally, my character strengths profile (From viame.org) highlighted that gratitude was one of my lower strengths. I found that it is often easy to be critical and look for things that are wrong and form opinions about what needs to be fixed (Rather who needs to be fixed!). Further analysis led me to understand that I find it harder to acknowledge people for giving me their time and patience and pass it off as something obvious that doesn't have to be stated.

Cons:

I was concerned that too much focus on a lower strength can negatively impact some of my signature strengths. I firmly believe that each behavior has a pro and con, so I explored the cons of too much gratitude. Studies have shown that too much gratitude goes towards indebtedness, which is an unpleasant feeling of obligation. Looking back at some experiences in my life, I've realized that indebtedness has had significant impact on some of my relationships. These bad experiences meant that gratitude slowly deserted me and I treated every interaction as a transaction – I give you something and you give me something back in return.

What next?

State it: I’d like to start with addressing my hesitation to show gratefulness. I would like to challenge myself and thank people for being nice and helpful. Of course, I would want to be mindful so that I should be authentic and only say things that I mean, and not say it when I don’t mean it. At the same time, I would also want to make sure that gratitude does not grow into indebtedness.

Further, I've decided to write at least two things each day about things I am grateful for and people/experiences that have made me feel good. I intend to do this for the next two weeks and see if it makes me feel any better and help me improve one of my lower strengths.

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P.S – Meanwhile, thank you all for reading the blog :P

The Ashes....

Have been following the Ashes - Eng & Aus fight it out in England this time.Two hilarious things from the Ashes I heard from the last couple of days...

1> Ashton Agar was given out caught behind by the third umpire. Michael holding couldn't believe that the decision, it was very poor considering the video evidence did not suggest a nick. Note that the ball was miles away from the pad!. So Michael holding goes...

"How is this given out? How is he out... LBW?"

2> This was piece written in an Australian news paper after the first innings Ashes defeat...

"Cricket Australia has been experimenting with Shane Watson for a while. They are trying to make him into a test batsmen, and the experiment is in it's 43rd attempt!!!"

Visualization

I recently came across something called Plato's Allegory of the cave - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allegory_of_the_Cave. I read quite a bit around the allegory and have tried to relate it to me and my thoughts. Read below...

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I realized that my understanding of the world, my interaction with people and my behavior with people is all determined by the story I create in my own mind. I started probing the mental image I have created of myself and of the people around me. I found it weird that some images of people are my own creations, an exaggerated static painting of my feelings towards the person. Try it, give it a minute, just think of a person you know and think about the image of the person that flashes in your mind.

But what we don't realize is that the person you knew yesterday is not the same person today. So, does that not make the mental image invalid? I heard a great adage which goes on the lines that the person who starts a sentence is not the same person when he gets to the end of the sentence. The person you were angry with yesterday is not the same person today. This analogy and adage to an extent opened my mind up about my behavior and attitude towards people. I realized that the image I leave in my mind can be detrimental to my personal and professional relationships.

And what about my own image of myself. Well, I realized that I sometimes (or most of the times) allow the image to be distorted by people around me. Rather, the perceived feelings of people around me, people I care about controls the image I carry. Doesn't sound like the right thing to do, does it? Probably not.

Co-incidentally, at the same time, I stumbled upon techniques used by sports people to train their mind and focus on the game (Cricketers to be more specific, Sachin to be even more specific!). I read that they use visualization techniques to visualize the game and to feel the environment before going into the game.

So, can I use visualization to mould images stored in my mind. Probably worth giving it a try I reckon, will let you know how I get on with it.

Observation...

Been a while since I was here! Work, study, travel, family and what not has taken a toll on my online life. Promise to get back into the zone. Not that the demand on my time has reduced, just that I have organized myself better by getting a weekly planner in place today! Obviously my daily planner has failed to deliver, hope the weekly one works for me!

Read an awesome quote on Espncricinfo from Sanjay Manjrekar during the first Ashes test match 2013.
"Indian TV Commentary is a lot about opinions, English TV Commentary is a lot about observations". What an observation Sanjay! Loved it.

All the more because for the last 8-10 months all I have heard about is reflection, reflection and more reflection. I remember Andy Murray talking about reflection in one of his interviews. My mindful manager course is all about self-reflection and learning from it. I went to an awesome talk last week and the speaker - spoke mostly about his experience and his learning's from his experience.

So what?

I have added "Reflection" as a task in my weekly calender. I rest my case :)